1. |
Johnny Buckle
03:33
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You can go out on your bike,
it’s alright, just don’t be too late in.
Playing on the building site,
at night, was so exciting.
Lying up awake at night
stars, in the black sky.
So infatuated with a girl
and she wore a red dress.
they all wore this red dress
we all got our uniforms
from the same place I think
school stores
school stores
Braces and straps on my shoes,
a blue box for the sandwiches,
I didn’t like tea yet.
Hanging round afternoons
with Johnny Buckle,
crashing cars in the sunlight and marmite.
Playing along at Zulu
on the white-line sports field,
I watched it on Sunday afternoon.
Michael Caine I love you,
making me duck and shoot
making me duck and shoot.
I want to be like you Michael,
cos you are so cool,
in your red uniform,
killing the natives and
did you get killed I can’t recall.
When it’s spring we will go to Jersey on a plane
and my brother will have to piss in a coke can.
There is a place by a beck is not a river it’s the same,
there was a part of a tree a funny shape. I ate a Club biscuit,
cos I was afraid, of going to school,
hanging on to the sliding doors in the living room.
Which is not under-stan-ding, it is just a way,
there is a sound and a car, a blue Ford Escort,
a rubber plane for doffing out mistakes in pencil,
sitting in a circle on the buffed brown floor, singing Yellow
Submarine with the arms linked,
talking in groups, feeling left out,
a man who stands up. Who’s that?
I’ll tell you about him.
He has the power, cos his name is Mister
Bradley was the headmaster of Hempland
School where I went to - I wonder did he
watch it too. And was it a historically correct
document - I’m talking about Zulu again -
or was he a bastard – Michael Caine I mean -
no he was on a talk show,
and there are pictures of him
round his mam’s in the sixties
smoking fags and drinking tea…
Recently I watched a man on TV
knock another over
because he let him, on the tele.
There is a place it has something, I can’t stay away,
we did something on the field for science on Monday,
a kid had to go all the way to the end of the sports field
and crack some cymbals. The sound travelled
but slower, and that is the speed of light and sound
but what about thought? dissatisfaction like a wall
in a mansion of a man who is dead.
And how am I here? When I was there,
in a blue uniform, a red uniform, a grey uniform,
a blue sailor suit, carried home from the hospital,
where my mother pushed me into it,
and out of that I am grateful, I think.
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2. |
Plastic Bag
02:51
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She woke up, she looked around the room,
she said you don’t do like you said you would,
you said you’d stay clean, and sweet,
and nothing would come of those things
you said when you were
outta your tree you dream
like a king got killed by too much
of anything, too much, of anything.
Your head was filled with some thing
it was ugly, it was / Alright, it was after that
do at that place; you were off your face.
I was still up tight about some thing.
There was a man there, in a base-ball cap,
he gave us something in a plastic bag,
and it was good until it was the next day.
There is no staying home when you will not be told, only
walking, alone at night, beneath the street lights, wishing
it was elsewhere. But what is that? Who cares? I wonder,
as I wend my back - way back home.
A long way from been, where I have seen
all my little insignificances
form into a
thing.
I didn’t even notice it happening at the time, and now this.
It’s all well and good when you can go out
and have something to walk around
and avoid, no I won’t do that and this is my
choice, but when you don’t it’s different;
there is this thing which is my thing, I choose
not to do, and it is noted, the way a little
boy flings a suitcase, on a bed, in a film
and it is okay, sat there, in the dark, eating ice cream, thinking,
how there is a hairdressers in Largs, with a picture of
Sean Connery in the window – Sean Connery who wore a to-pay
in the Bond films, in the Bond films, in the Bond films.
There is no staying home when you will not be told, only
walking, alone at night, beneath the street lights, wishing
it was elsewhere, but what is that? Who cares, I wonder,
as I wend my way back - way back home.
‘My wife doesn’t like swimming at night,
but sometimes she comes and sits, in the car,
when I go, swimming at night.’
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3. |
Plunk
02:01
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People eating and, speaking on the tele.
I was eating my dinner. I had fish
fingers, chips and peas. No, I didn’t.
I had a sweet potato, a bit of salmon
and some kale, cos apparently:
Kale makes you warmer in the winter;
I read it in Men’s Health Magazine when I was at Justin’s.
Or maybe it wasn’t in Men’s Health Magazine, maybe it was in
Cosmopolitan when I was seeing me mam
in the er Leeds General Infirmary.
Scowling faces, don’t you move; sunglasses down and splendour.
The diff-rence between gray hair and dark hair.
Santana at Woodstock (can’t read my writing).
Me being the kind of twat who keeps a tally; we did this we did that.
My to-do list is huge, my to-do list is massive; the transition between surfaces.
Putting a train ticket in a CD package. Ooh, that’s a bit weird, that’s a bit strange,
that’s a bit weird. I have no idea what I want; only what I want – if that.
Feeling detached and lost and possibly conscious, and this dirty attempt it nothing.
Train travel interludes:
‘Patrick seems happy with the project.’
Does he now? Can you move, cos that trolley is keeping the door not shut.
‘Would you like a sandwich?’
‘What colour is it?’
Just fucking have one.
‘It’s a sandwich.’
‘What colour is it?’
Just fucking have one.
‘It’s kind of Sandwich…’
Cor and drolls and hot paninis.
A woman looking round/forward to serving me,
over the tannoy, ‘We have got...’
A tower black is not on fire in the distance
something on is on fire behind it,
smoking behind it, gone.
Hot panini x3
I fancy one, but I bet they taste horrible.
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4. |
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I ain’t tryna get back, I drink herbal tea, no one fuck with me.
Stay off. Back off, i’ve got
Peppermint tea in my fist, i’ve got Rosehip tea in the fridge.
What, are you gay or something?
Why did you put tea in the fridge?
I didn’t.
Tinned tomatoes. Putting a cone on a
statue. Fulla check.
Two little dogs on a running board
on an electric wheel chair;
the other week I watched one
chase a swan in the sea.
And the owners they were on the
promenade, and they were
shouting at the dog, and they were saying:
‘Get out the water, stop chasing the swan
And I was looking at him, thinking,
‘Yeah, keep going.’
Although I didn’t want him to get the swan.
I just liked that he was
swimming away from his owners
on the promenade, chasing the swan.
(intake of breath)
Can I use your loo?
No.
Why not?
Infinity doesn’t matter
Infinity doesn’t matter.
‘No one was bolder.’
Infinity doesn’t matter.
It’s not a childs tiara, it’s my tiara.
Keeping my holy socks for the purpose of
getting to sleep, fantasies, sleep now, please.
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5. |
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Two swans in the sea, I saw,
and my hair has never looked right;
someone got blown up tonight.
A few people were in the bookshop, after time,
they were having some drinks, I saw.
It was strange to see; and all the birds in the world
waking up at, different times in different trees,
some go low above the ground, and others
you can hold in your hands, if you are trained.
Trained. You go to the place, you get trained.
You go to the place, you get paid, you get told how to act,
what to say, when to turn up. Buy a pre-packaged sandwich,
on the food-court, take out the lettuce eat it stood still in a lift,
going down to the ground, and then out, look at it from a distance,
a big thing filled with things to be sold, sat there at the bus stop;
four more hours to go until home and sleep, so much sleep,
until the Big Sleep,
is a book.
A maderia cake is a nice thing
to have in your tinfoil, I am no longer in love
with being off my nut, there was a man in the place,
he had a bag full of James Cagney films in a bag.
Some girls danced around him, he just continued drinking his pint,
then bought another, and another, had a piss, got a taxi, got a taxi,
paid for the taxi.
That building they blew up in the Bond film,
I saw it from the bus it was not blown up, which was strange.
Strange, my teeth hurt
less than they did. when I was a kid,
there is a heater in the shower
I have to put my face on it
three times, to make sure it is off
sometimes more than
three times.
And a man said to me, this morning,
there’s a nuclear submarine, in the Clyde,
and I looked outside, stood up eating,
cos my back is hurting all down my side.
And there’s a pain in my chest, too, I sighed.
You know what that is, he ses, that’s heartburn.
And what is heartburn? The really bizarre thing I find,
is no one I know or have ever met, reads these magainzes.
Getting in them seems to be something that seems worthwhile
but I don’t know why. And then I was London on Sunday
and Mike sent me to the shop to buy lard, for Yorkshire Puddings
And then when I got to the shop,
I couldn’t find any and asked a man,
and he said, Lard? - like he’d never heard of it.
There was no lard in Tescoes that time,
I went back to the flat, and told Mike.
He put on his shoes to sort it, I went with him to prove it,
‘Look, there’s no lard, or suitable substitute.’
I bought some ice-cream; he walked up the street to the
Co-op was closed, he walked further to Stepney Green,
got some lard, and then a bus back.
Sometime after this, we ate everything.
And they were really nice, the yorkshire puddings,
sort of still eggy but not still eggy, and the way that they rise,
with the door shut, is not a metaphor / for life, though
it could be, if this were a philosophical cook-book,
but it’s not a philosophical cook-book.
And i’ve got too many rings, you know me.
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6. |
Pool Place
04:06
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Getting in late, with the man, from the pool place.
Eating a pie, talking about it, and smiling, at the table in the front room.
Outside it looks like a lake, but it is dark. Anyway,
my back was hurting, cos of how I was sitting,
but I didn’t sit up, no, I didn’t sit up, I did the opposite,
slouched down, further, into / It is alright, it is okay, I know
what I am doing, is not what you think that
I should be doing.
And what am I menna do about that?
Go out and get asked about:
‘You coming on... You and…’
‘Alright, I’ll have an ask about it… What do you think?’
‘No.’
‘Me neither, but if you want we’ll go.’
‘Well, I’m not bothered.’
‘I know, he’s a prick, so that’s a decision made then, isn’t it?’
We’re going. Tonight, though, I’m on my own, just cos I have to be, sometimes. Like a sink needs filling to prove to a boy it won’t overflow. ‘It’s got a mechanism.’ And I think that, mine is broken.
There’s hairs on everything.
I’m afraid of being afraid,
feeling like a week day…
no I don’t like that line.
No one is
calling on the
phone, I say I
don’t have,
but I do,
Ha ha. Why am I
doing this to myself,
for what purpose and to what ends.
No one is calling on the phone I say I don’t have,
but I do, Ha ha. Why am I doing this to myself,
for what purpose and to what ends.
Heading for the door, a man to keep the audience in
check out my new whatever, you look silly in
all that plaid is paid for by the company
I would like to know what it
smells like in your head, when it
rains you moan about it like in summer you’ll be pleased,
smoking cos of not knowing what to say
outside the place, looking at the floor, when he says,
‘You don’t remember me, do you?’
No. Who is that?
And so,
unplug the kettle, shut the fridge, emptied the bin
last week, an air freshener appeared in the kitchen, I
rubbed it on myself, when I was pissed, you tryna
tell me some thing – woke up, in the night, fell into the
washing line, which was outside at the time, and so was I.
This is gonna hurt, a little off the top, talk talk,
wearing it out, like you, look like these people are
hollow, and, not helping you, see yourself, in the
mirror when you go out you look wonderful.
Applying lipstick now, in the taxi into town,
talk about so-an-so at the place is a
face you would like to drown out the sound of it
happening all at once. This is us, alright. Alright, ta.
Seven fifty. I think next time we’ll be taking the bus.
So at the place with the people and the drinks and food,
we got separated, I was cornered by a man.
Saw you cross the room talkin with someone talkin at you,
you looked lost, me too, we left and went elsewhere.
‘Are you leavin?’
‘Yeah.’
‘So soon?’
‘Yeah, man.’
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7. |
Pan Aux Raisin Wrong
02:03
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In the house, I wake
up after nine, and my
hands hurt, there was a light
through the big crack, outside
it was a spring time light,
and no blue sky.
The clouds like a kesterul, the sky like a fag packet
in a big packet he brought back from Spain,
or someplace, I don’t know exactly where he said
he told me he went for his holiday.
The curtains drawn, now
a kid shoots past on a bike,
he has a face that
says it slept a sleep;
drawing on the walls in the
cheap black pens, they break,
and biro is a trade, Mark.
I didn’t know this until now,
a man called Lasslo, he was
Hungarian according to my
dictionary, there is a sound
in the kitchen, I thought he’d be at
work by – spitting in the sink and then
in the shower I close the eyes a long time, get
warmed up by the water and think:
No it was Malta he said
No it was Malta he said
No it was Malta he said
No it was Malta he
I’m eating too much, not drinking, but still
bingeing on the biscuits and the pan aux raisins.
Everytime I say pan aux raisin, I mumble it,
cos i’m afraid this is the sound of me saying:
Pan aux raisin wrong x7
that’s not a real song,
it doesn’t mean anything, the Long and Winding Road was on
in the waiting room, I was there to have my wisdom tooth
pulled. Paul McCartney following me about.
How would like it if I did that to you, Paulie.
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8. |
Cows like the advert
00:38
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9. |
Plastic Glass
04:41
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I came to pass / you ask and talk like that
is incorrect. Do you not see me / a see me,
I came to pass and then /
because time is what a book said.
I read it on a train, agreed and lost my place.
I was eaten by it cos it was what I craved, it was a
very long way to the place, but we went. Anyway.
a man there wore his hair like a singer in a band,
he had his hands on the counter, I looked at his
hands on the counter. He had big hands.
What is important, you said, sat on the way to the place.
Up this morning, did some press-ups, while it rained
last night me and Jason did Taxi Driver, which is probably why.
That bit where he is getting ready. Ooh, I like it..
A lone sound / bird song / but not / a spark of it / Gone.
Wundrin about it is so simple, far away,over the hill,
I'll do it well, I'll do it good, I'll do it everything,
like I said I would but I won't.
So what / who cares?
I do what / who cares?
No you don't, because you don't know.
Why?
It keeps occurring, it is
something has it in for me,
time, which is, if you let it
body image. And a way
you expected it to be,
with all the people on the street,
and a difference in tone and light and
fight fight fight. Ooh it's really cool, there's prostitutes.
Nah, there ain't no rooming houses though.
A lone sound / bird song / but not / a spark of it / gone.
Coming cross a quiet space
I woke up late, and I was walking up this street,
there was a man on the TV, who had lost his keys, and I
walked into someplace, bought a book on Japan,
for Mike and Jo, after this I was outside again,
and in the car park of PC /
World, there were these kids
playing cricket and someone was
singing somewhere, but I couldn't
make it out. Just this
high voice going, some
melody or something, it want good.
The song was from a film,
I thought perhaps they had /
Work in the morning,
or maybe they're moving to
Croydon or someplace.
We stood away, there by a pillar
at the back, drank some water in a plastic glass.
A man came up and said:
Something about something.
It was like something. Far away
a megaphone was used. It got garbled.
But the people like them - they look right -
they have seen the pictures - they look left -
and the pictures are right, and the -
pictures are proof: this is authentic, sincere,
and in keeping with it, you should wear your scuffed shoes.
'Did you wash these?'
'Yeah.'
'Why, they're menna look like that.'
Which is wonderful, till I remember / everything around my head
like a boy in a cardboard box, is / coming down the stairs, on the air,
I am just going over here / from it / is ugly don't you know, what it did
I swept myself in two / walking like a shot man smoking like a gendarme
in the film, she left him, like he, got on, bought a car lot, drank some drinks in the sun
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Mark Wynn York, UK
Based on a true story.
Introverted exhibitionist stick
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