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Lovers Picking Scabs

from Normal Tea by Mark Wynn

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lyrics

Because I don’t know
anything about it,
I think it should be
hard. I assume so
and a little place off
the main road ate some
spring rolls, not wanting a fag.

I can’t wait for this to be over
when it’s done I can / start again.

My lungs are fucked, basically, he ses,
mooching with a fag on the go.
My lungs are fucked, basically, he ses,
mooching with a fag on the go.

Vitamin tablets and washing
drying by the sink,
pants and socks
and stuff like that:
a hoover,
a hoover a hoover a hoover;
pants and stoff and stuts like that:
and a hoover,
a hoover a hoover a hoover.
But no I don’t want to
moan about it, why
do that when it could be
diff-er-ent.

Romantacize a freezing flat,
to romantacize the old long hair on your back.
Lovers picking scabs, lovers picking scabs.

I have a problem with photographs of me
on the internet I can’t get rid of.

Can’t you just take it off?
‘Oh no, we can’t.’ Why?
‘Because, it’s... / something to do with it.

Stroll down the boulevard of bollocks.

I just wanna take it off. I don’t like how I look,
cos I look like I think, I thought, I was that,
when I wasn’t, and subsequently realized
it were nowt, but an attempt, at an accent
and I don’t know what mine is.

(It is to be noted that I am not disliking how I looked, but actually how I look, in a picture of how I looked - I think I look like a picture – I think it’s me.)

All through the above I am doing the say:
‘I look like a knob, I look like a knob,
I look like I don’t think I look like a knob
hence I think that I look like a knob.’
This is because, there are many things
done in the time allotted. And to do it,
without mess or mistake, is simply not
something I am capable of doing.

And so’s I boogie the do, and ask you politely,
kindly, to please remove that video of me from the internet, that picture, that interview when I was reading too much shit shock literature, that comprised of depth like a snowflake, puddle, worn shoe, or cough sweet.

Extra statements

The question often posed: if you really don’t like it, why do you keep doing it? More to the point, what if what you want to do, involves doing things you don’t want to.

Example: I want to see my friend, I really don’t want to make myself sick off the bevvy; I want to know what is happening this weekend, I really don’t want to know who is dead I’ve not met, and to think that that hour, looking at what I shouldn’t, could have been spent reading one of that pile of books by the bedside.

I want to wear my body warmer, I want to wear a different coloured shirt, but the colour doesn’t go with the shoes I don’t like, and everytime I go out at night it’s nearly the morning already, so why can I never get enough sleep?

Stopping one thing for another is not a way to avoid all extraneous noise; starting a new thing is not so shiney you might like it. It is really very simple, change is a questionable pleasure – but so is the comfort of the same thing, over and over.

Recently, everyone in the building was given a lanyard, so everyone knows who everyone is and to stop the younger ones getting anxious. The people paid to think up things like this put a bad image around everyone’s neck in order to lower their levels of anxiety. They wear this picture of themselves they don’t like and look embarrassed.

And then the official emails of irritation: Please stop hiding it down the front of your jumper. And the officials, outside, they don’t like it neither. In their bright jackets they tell them to take it out so we can see it, this is important, just do it.

But your accent, where is it from? Because mine is from the things I watched over and over. Or it is from what I grew up with. But I grew up mostly alone listening to music. And in every documentary I saw, the man from Burnage always swore. And in every other book or film I watched, the accent was always not what was nearby. But I wasn’t nearby, I was in the screen somewhere distant, up a tape machine and away. So that’s probably why I don’t sound like I should do. But if I did what I should do, I wouldn’t do what I did. And it’s what is i’m concerned with. It has to be. Otherwise i’m concerned with how it should be, and that’s just shonky.

credits

from Normal Tea, released January 30, 2019

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Mark Wynn York, UK

Based on a true story.

Introverted exhibitionist stick

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