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the center of which is not here

from Normal Tea by Mark Wynn

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    36 page magazine of words and the lyrics to the songs as best as I can transcribe them, and a CD.

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lyrics

Crank, house, towels and cutlery.
She wants to kiss, in a taxi. Me too.
A smattering of
associates, no friends,
and a man who threw a
McDonald's milkshake at me.
And someone is trying to have
fun somewhere,
the heat has
taken them out of the house.
‘Ooh it’s nice out. Let’s go to a place
and sit and...’

Let’s move to London
and eat a brownie in a car park
and drink a bevvy on a bench
and get a job, in a place
we can’t get a job.










the centre of which is not here, extra bit :

But we could probably, couldn’t we?
But then what would happen when someone got ill?
‘Oh, you are so selfish, you and your chuffing career.’
‘My career? I didn’t even want a career.
I just kept reading all the signs that kept saying
I was important. I can, they said. I am and I will.
And I just thought, what other option is there.
I mean, I can’t work in a cafe all my life, can a?
Or maybe I can. But it’s going to make
love and a house and all the rest of it
a little tricky, innit?
No, regardless of what you’re saying,
I’m gonna continue reading the signs,
the ones that say, I am to get away somewhere
to be the thing I am not now, to be that there,
and we can sleep in the afternoon because we
work from home, by that I mean, this place I feel
small in, anonymous (do I mean dead?) and alone,
is now my knew home, I decided it for me,
the decision was all of my own making,
and yet I wonder, if this is what I was after
why it doesn’t look anything like I thought it,
when I was thinking nowt about it
until that meeting with the careers officer.
I mean, I’d thought about it kinda,
sat on the sports field, swearing at daises,.
But not enough to uproot us. I just really think I didn’t.
Also, Mark ses it was gunna be called
Brownie in a Car Park.
But then he asked if it sounded
incorrect, and my mate said yes.
So he didn’t call it that, because
he don’t feel he can say a confectionary
without someone thinking he means
what he didn’t.

This is the problem with the things there
that aren’t you there saying them,
you can’t explain – unless you spend
the whole gig explaining – which I
might do sometimes.

Perhaps that is the point I am trying to make?
Or, maybe, there is no point I am trying to make.
But if I come to that realisation too much
I won’t get paid to go to different places
occasionally, to see what that’s like, which
helps me not drown in how it is like
where i’m from.

Must I defend myself in this way?
If not, why am I writing this?
Am I still trying to unlock me?
Why have I stopped answering my questions?

credits

from Normal Tea, released January 30, 2019

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Mark Wynn York, UK

Based on a true story.

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