Written at some point in December inbetween cutting bald patches into my wig, offending and confusing audiences in Colchester and walking home offended and confused at my own stupidities.... I wrote these songs inattentively when I was thinking of something else, what that was I don't now know but I did know then, no?. I did all I could to make the best thing I could... then I just gave it up and went to the pub and drank what I found lying about in the same place because I'm glam like that yes....
released 03 March 2014
Mark Wynn - Guitar and blah
Sam Forrest - Recording blah
How could you be so wet as to write such a disgusting song and sing it without irony I'm unsure but I feel sick beyond ill go away man of no place
Money and the auto tuned vocal the one which can't express anything else beyond ooh look I can make my voice do this ooh look I can make my voice do this well my voice can do this Blah buy that you cunt
Track Name: No Fun (not that one)
Wait did I hear through the walls they went down by the river this they did because there was little else to do and she loved him and he loved her too but not like before the difference being the central force cut adrift cast a spark down by the river down by the river and she felt good and he felt bad cause she felt good it wasn't the way he thought it should be cause if she felt good and he felt bad cause she felt good then it was only gonna have one outcome No Fun.... Can I touch your no not like in the movies one time not like in the far reaches of the hard to define very clear and straight there is a thing it won't go away wait take me out of this place I don't want to know how low I can go before I can't come up no more I can't come up no more don't by the river. Cancellation there was a fire on the motor way I bought a sausage roll it was hot my hands were cold I sat next to a man are you in a band no I can't do with people least of all my self reaction stare at the floor. how are you doing yeah how are you doing how am I doing not good cheer up who asked you anyway walk away I've got a hard on stick it behind my belt think of a man who knows what occurs in a massage parlour after four I'll have a beer please how much for is this it is this it four quid for this four quid No Fun
Track Name: Ray Davies Nicked All My Songs
Ray Davies had a brother called Dave Dave Davies was always in the shadow of his brother Ray it was a bugger they grew up I'm not so sure so I'll say Muswell Hill cause it kinda fits with my story of how Ray Davies nicked my songs in Muswell Hill where I was born as well in 1945 when I was given an electric guitar and a typewriter for my first birthday went in the bathroom to learn how to defecate and write one of the worlds most recognizable riffs You Really got Me.. I wrote the lyrics on some toilet paper and my dad told me it sounded like thie birth of heavy metal with this in mind I decided to nip it in the bud but then my dad told me there might be some money in it and as I'm a complete corporate whore I thought fuck it lets get some cash out of this so I took it round the publishing houses in Soho and in the mean time wrote a slew of other songs dedicated follower of fashion autumn almanac dead end street this time tomorrow they weren't bothered though. By the time I was ten I was pissed off no one seemed bothered about my songs so I gave it up they seemed more interested in Jan and Dean that doggie in the window how much a fiver then I met brother Ray at a garden party and he said he liked the englishness of the party and would I like to play croquet Ray no not today I don't want to play croquet and hey would you like to hear some songs I played him the entire Kinks back catalouge in chronological order it was at this point that he punched me in the face and said I'll be having them mate and don't tell anyone or I'll tell everyone you got a friend to push their arse in your face when you were eight at the bottom of the garden it turned you on so I didn't tell anyone and then Dave Davies played a guitar solo shut up Dave... So Ray took my songs round the world with his little band think they were called the Kinks and they got rich or sort of rich I don't know I never saw their bank statements I do know though that Ray nicked my songs but that's alright he can sing them better than I can and besides that fame game looks hard cold and difficult on your normal life situation...
Track Name: Knee Socks
Stop and I would walk once upon a time to your place of work I seem to recall how I didn't want to go home so sometimes stayed for the whole shift which was stupid but I did it anyway thinking now or trying not to think about that time I can't back from someplace you made me something to eat not wearing knee socks, polka dots and it's the worst I feel you got me on the way back home feeling I was gonna throw up I never realized at the time these things came at a price I wish I'd known it would have made no difference remember that time and it was raining cause it was I think did you order champagne to drink did I did we just have the bucket on the table from the people before I don't know but I do recall how you you took me home and I didn't know what it meant to be alone anymore walking with no intention occupied and through the street the hour always incomplete until it's elsewhere no silence which come from the street we were on the ground floor looking in I didn't feel upset the television stayed off but we had the music that and the curtains drawn in the attempt to drown out the light from outside engulfed in it warm and the touch of a familiar more gone into this than previously expected soon we would sleep but I didn't want to as silence she swam over you like a stone I don't know what that means so the distance reached the cold slashed us into walking quietly alone side by side over the ice and light into the morning rush a phrase I never quite understood until that day when I walked flushed and spent with you the strangers there who would look the same if it were for the separate you create please be seated in the lounge area you will be called when it's time for you to be called I decided to go where I should not go.... the music played from the electric screen I am dressed in the same clothes and a shower minus soap I cut my self with a shaving I might not look like I need a shave the music played I looked in the mirror
Track Name: She Fancies Me That One In Age Concern
This ones called she fancies me that one in age concern it's about how she fancies me that one in age concern she fancies me that one in age concern and I didn't want a bag but I got one anyway ooh do you remember when Gladis fell in Boots I go there when it's raining and hang around by the radiator looking at the jigsaws and the sport books thinking when is it my turn to get a bargain cause all my friends are getting stuff and I get fuck all mind you that's alright cause she fancies me that one in age concern think she's called Clare. I wonder what Clare did before age concern maybe she worked in Sue Barker or save the babies or maybe the british heart foundation oh Clare. Maybe she sold me that shirt and me mam threw it out saying how we can afford new clothes we don't have to buy old ones well I prefer a shirt worn by someone who had a good time in it maybe won the music quiz at the nags head years ago or had a dirty weekend in whitby or maybe beat ronnie o sullican pissed at pool
Track Name: Lipstick
I shouldn't have but I thought fuck it I've never stolen lipstick from Boots lets go to Boots I walked into Boots I walked out of Boots security guard followed me I said get the fuck of me get the fuck of me I took him down and I woke up covered in lipstick mother fucker
Track Name: Day Trip To Wakefield
Can I cadge a cigarette she asked last night no sorry pet we've got a train to catch that's what he replies as we walk round neath the queens hotel in leeds to get the delayed train to york they wouldn't let us through the barrier until ten minutes before cause of something and I was a little bit drunk I didn't mean to be but I was think I should have had more to eat that night before we went out cause I was drunk...
That night we went to Wakey to see a band in the Hop and I felt like a bastard for not inviting you but I didn't feel good no I didn't feel good on the train I thought about Tom Verlaine how his face is painted on the wall of the hop with an emergency exit sign notice on his forehead ain't that strange a man on the train said I was an artist she said she guessed it I tried to ignore them ripping phrases out of the newspaper I found on the table another said she fell in Brown's on account of her shoes being a little unstable and I really didn't wanna talk to anyone but I was stuck on a train because Tom Verlaine is on the wall with an emergency sign exit notice on his forhehead in the Hop and a band was playing there and i wanted to stare at the floor as they played forget my name
Turn up late and you have to wait around less than usual no wonder I get so board after the gig we stood around outside making awkward conversation then we went to the train station the eleven o clock was delayed which meant if we ran we could get on it and we did and we sat in first class for the fuck of it even though we didn't have the right tickets cause were so daring sometimes all the time it hurts how daring we are yes and ya
Off in Leeds more trains delayed we went to a boozer and I had a pint of London pale ale in a chalise I felt like a prick drinking out of a chalise but is it only a glass should I get over myself or is everything a statement like the clothes you don't wear the things you never say the times you're never on time never never on time...
Chorus because it makes no sense...
Arnold Beaver can see the future
Arnold Beaver he's dressed in sepia
Track Name: Tabby Cats Instead
Sometimes I try sometimes I lie sometimes I keep it all up inside at other times I pretend to like your style wear a big smile pretend to see it from a mile away that's not a real smile it's a fake smile yeah okay I know you know a lot more than I know about stuff and it's the same place I don't wanna go I'm a disgrace everyone should know I bought a blow torch I read a magazine I ate a something bad I found it in the street I put some clothes on I left your place I told the sun to go away I walked up the street looked in the window saw I girl there one I used to know wonder if she knew what I knew I thought perhaps she did because she's quite perceptive and it's the same place I don't wanna go I'm a disgrace and everyone should know I thought of going home I think I don't know but I do it anyway I couldn't see you I miss you I make a brew put in the sugar feeling hungover and dead dead dead in the morning dead in the afternoon dead in the evening dead on the six o clock news I didn't watch I thought about tabby cats instead